I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
My hubby and I met while we were serving in the military on a tiny Portuguese island. One of the places he took me on our first date was the remains of a fortress pictured above. The entire coastline of this island was once protected by these small forts, which served as barracks, lookout posts and shelters for the villagers during times of attack.
If I am to say that God is my fortress, I must trust Him and fully give up control. Just as the Portuguese villagers gave up their control to those who defended them, so must I!! I thought I had given God the reins to my life, but through this study of “Let.It.Go.”, I have found that I haven’t always done that. And I repent of that sin.
The last chapter of “Let.It.Go.” is entitled “Living the Relinquished Life”. In this chapter Karen writes about her challenge to fast from executive decisions during Christmas, and how she and her family were blessed by her resigning. I read this chapter on Friday, and guess what happened on Friday? My husband announced how his parents are going with us to our daughter’s college graduation not just for the weekend as they originally planned, but for 5 days. So guess what week I feel God is telling me to fast from making decisions?
I’m a meticulous planner. I can’t help it. I don’t know if it comes by me inherently or if it’s my military training. We’ve moved several times, and I was always a very detailed planner during our moves (think multiple folders and notebooks). Of course, this became second nature for me in our vacation plans. I’d keep copious notes, research hotels and restaurants, plan little excursions during our stopovers, have healthy snacks and entertainment ready for the kids, etc. But you know what happened? If the hotel disappointed my husband or the excursions weren’t up to everyone’s expectations, I would get upset. REALLY upset because I had done all this planning for them!
Umm….no. While I did want everyone to have a good time, I did this because I
was am a control freak.
So I let my husband know this morning that I’m praying about fasting from making decisions for a week. The very important week when my baby girl graduates from college and becomes a fully fledged adult. He immediately got on the defensive, thinking I was up to something (can you tell we’ve had vacation issues before?). We had a long conversation about what God is teaching me through this study, and he started to understand as I explained to him what Karen had done. The hotel reservations were made last week, and I am going to be obedient in giving up control in ordering a cake for her special day, deciding where we will go after graduation, choosing where we will eat through the week, determining where we will go sightseeing, etc. I’m letting go.
Thank you, Karen Ehman, for allowing the LORD to work in you to bring this message to all us freaky ladies. Thank You, Heavenly Father, for allowing me to lean on You. Thank You for being my Fortress!