I didn’t think working in a high school could be so painful sometimes.
Most days it goes very well, with the students working on their assignments as they should or me successfully helping students with their algebra or science homework.
Then there are those days where I’m reminded of my own teen years.
Walking down the high school halls occasionally takes me back to the reason why I preferred to be in school instead of home. It also painfully reminds me of my own actions to others.
I believe that today’s youth are more rude than when I was in high school because our society is selfish. Most high schoolers do not have “filters”… they say EXACTLY what’s on their minds the moment a thought comes to them, and they do not give a hoot if it offends you, hurts you or disrupts the education of others.
While I like to think that I wasn’t as discourteous as teens today are, I know now I acted very hurtful towards many people. I’m not in any way trying to discount my actions just because I had a bad home life — I just see now that I was only following the examples I had at home and that I was an extremely selfish person.
I once cussed out my favorite teacher when he was only trying to help me (could he have known what I went home to?). I chose alcohol over my education. I pushed people that I loved away. I said and did mean things to the few friends I had and to teachers who tried to help me. I even chose self-preservation over my siblings’ welfare, leaving home just as soon as I turned 18.
I have tried to apologize to some people — some have accepted my apologies and some have not. Although it would be wonderful to go back in time to do things differently, I have recognized that God is using these difficult reminders to show me how to be patient with children (ya, they are still children!) who are rude or unkind. I need to guard my heart from my painful past, not dwelling on what I did or even what could have been had I behaved differently. I also need to THANK God for helping me through those years, for the people He put in my path who made my life better, and for the lessons He taught me so I can now help others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says,
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”