Mother’s Day has been a difficult holiday for me since my mom left this world almost 13 years ago. We often didn’t see eye-to-eye and my rebellion of my parent’s extreme strictness didn’t help our relationship. My mother could also be very manipulative, which I didn’t understand until after she passed away — a few years ago I started having long telephone conversations with my aunt about my mom. I have slowly gained an understanding as to why Mom acted the way she did and why she often said hurtful things to me.
Mom got married at 17, divorced about a year later, went into the Air Force, and then was discharged from the Air Force in 1957 because she was unmarried and pregnant. Mom then married a despicable man, my biological father. I realize now that Mom didn’t want me to make the same mistakes she had, and that the things she said and did were done out of love and concern, not out of anger or hatred.
Instead of remembering the bad times, I choose to remember the good. One of my favorite childhood memories is when Mom would take us to Jones Beach during summer break. We’d go so early in the morning that the crews would still be combing the sands to make it pretty for a new day. I remember wonderful days of swimming in the ocean, searching for perfect sea shells and beautiful beach glass, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, taking in the wonderful aromas of coconut tanning lotion, and then going home exhausted with lots of extra sand in our car (and in our bathing suits).
Yesterday I attended an Eagle Scout award ceremony for a young man in our town. My heart broke for him because neither of his parents were there for his very important achievement. I was thankful, though, that over a dozen school staff and their families chose to attend. I have never heard this young man say anything negative about his parents — an excellent reminder that we ALL need to be thankful and choose to focus on the good.
If your own mother was absent from your life due to drug or alcohol abuse, choose to remember the good. If your mother has already left this Earth, whether through death or a devastating illness such as Alzheimer’s, choose to remember the good times you have shared. If you never had a mother at all, or yours was just totally lacking in any maternal skills, choose to be thankful that she chose life!
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:1-2 (ESV)
Please don’t allow Satan to steal your joy. If you had a bad relationship with your Mom, pray that God shows you the good times you shared. The Holy Spirit is inspiring me to make one wise choice after another and I do believe that these are sustainable disciplines. To God be the glory!!